If the Soviets had only waited…

I’ve been watching “The Americans” on FX, an action/drama about Soviet sleeper spies embedded in the US. It’s set in the early 80’s and the married couple with children have been in the US for 15 years, working at a travel agency while conducting undercover operations for the KGB. The wife (Keri Russell) is still fully committed to the cause, but her husband wouldn’t mind defecting. He points out that the electricity always works and the food is great in the U.S. It’s a great place!

 So, they sneak around with their old technology – giant tape recorders, wigs and mustaches that were last seen on “The Dating Game”; reading the classified ads in newspapers for contact from their handler. Apparently their aim is to crush the U.S. without starting World War 3. It all seems so quaint now that Russia isn’t a global superpower, but they were the major enemy in Reagan’s day.

 If only they knew then what we know now: the secret to destroying America is reality television. If someone (Ryan Seacrest? Mark Burnett?) created a show that combined the Amish AND the Gypsies, I would never leave the house. Throw in a visit from the Kardashian sisters and my head would explode. I can proudly say I’ve never watched a Bachelor or Bachelorette show, and I DO think that makes me superior. Still, we all have our addictions in this genre and they could easily be manipulated to bring American productivity to a standstill. Those who actually make it to work can’t get anything done since they are compelled to discuss how surprising it is that Merlin got unshunned. He needed a unanimous vote and he got it! And what about Honey Boo Boo and the Girl Scout Cookie brouhaha? Don’t even start us on the Shahs of Sunset with GG waving the knife around.

 Maybe Robert Kardashian was a Soviet plant, and now his daughters are doing what years of communism couldn’t’?

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