Chapter 19

“More coffee cake, anyone?” asked Mrs. Anton. Seated around her kitchen table were Jeremy, Will Ingersoll, Cupcake MacBeth, and an overly tanned man in a brown Stetson and a turquoise-and-amber bolo tie.

“No, thank you, Mrs. Anton,” said the man in the hat. “Now, Ms. MacBeth, I’ve had the state’s lawyers draw this up, so if you’re in agreement, sign here, and initial here.” He pulled out a legal contract from his briefcase made of lizard skin and put it on the table.

“Wait a minute,” said Will. “This is all moving pretty quickly.” He turned to Cupcake. “Are you sure you’re comfortable with this?”

Cupcake took a long pause before she answered. “Well, I for sure get something out of this deal. In my line of work, you don’t get too many sure things. And I may not be Governor or President, but I’ll be Mayor and get paid for two shows a day with a guaranteed five year run. That’s what Celine Dion got in Las Vegas. I’m like a junior Celine,” she concluded as she slid the papers over and began to initial them.

“Did she have a nose job?” blurted out Mrs. Anton.

“Totally,” said Cupcake. “Are you kidding me? But no fake boobs, though.”

Jeremy tried to move the conversation back to his concerns. He asked the man in the hat, “So once this petition is ratified, everybody in Placerville will automatically be citizens of Nevada?”

“Absolutely,” said the man. “We’ll annex Placerville, open some gaming outlets, and an adult entertainment center featuring performances by Mayor MacBeth twice a day.”

“And 16 year olds can drive?” asked Jeremy.

“Provided they pass the driving test just like any other citizen.”

Mrs. Anton frowned. “You’re not going to put the gambling and dance places near the schools, are you? Won’t that be a zoning problem?”

“They’ll be closer to the freeways than to the schools. And in Nevada, every street is automatically zoned for gambling and nudity if there are no schools or churches in a 3 block radius,” said the man authoritatively.

“What about the toll roads that Eidenberger put in?” asked Will.

“We’re going to offer a shuttle bus to the Nevada border to facilitate skiing. And we’re going to reimburse citizens for the toll fees until the California courts overturn the toll roads, which our attorneys have assured us are quite illegal. Your governor didn’t go through the proper channels to install them.”

“You’re our governor now,” said Will, reaching out to shake the hand of Nevada Governor Walt Bruckman.

“Well, as of tomorrow morning, anyway,” said Bruckman. “But let me be the first to say, welcome to Nevada!”

 

 

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